Love: A single word, a wispy thing, a word no bigger or longer than an edge. That’s what it is: an edge; a razor. It draws up through the center of your life, cutting everything in two. Before and after. The rest of the world falls away on either side.
Before and after - and during, a moment no bigger or longer than an edge.
Lately, Ive been consumed with reading the Love Letters of Great Men. Ive always wanted to write a love letter. A string of words I could send to someone, knowing fully the smile that it would bring. I dont intend to put pen to paper and express my love for another like Napoleon did for Josephine or the words of Beethoven or even those of Voltaire. Just something simple. Something that you keep tucked away, and one day, when we are fighting, you can pull it out and it will put that same small smile on your face. You’ll remember that our love can last. That I kept you in my heart.
All my life, I wanted to be a creator. Any type of creator. My instruments of choice ended up being my voice and my body. You see, my passion is acting. I know, little girls grow up nowadays watching people like Hannah Montana and the kids from High School Musical and think to themselves, “I wanna be famous like that!”. That, the cleaned up dance numbers, the fancy costumes, the movie premiers, all that is the glamorous side of the job, and only represents a very small percentage of the actors out there. For the rest, its working two jobs, ruthless competition, hours standing in an audition line so you might have your name called, and praying every time your phone rings it will finally be your one big break. So after noting all of that, why would I, much less anyone, choose a career in acting? The answer is simple. Love. It’s a love for every aspect of it. The long hours at rehearsal, the beautiful costumes, the caked on stage makeup, even having to re do a scene what feels like 150 times. You have to go in thinking that this is what you absolutely love to do and nothing in the world gives you satisfaction like this does. If you can see yourself in a different career doing something else, I suggest you get out now. This is not just some 9 to 5 desk job. It is not just a career. It is a passion, a longing, a drive. I do this to create a character, mold it, nurture it, become it, and then hopefully through that development, shine a light of some of the dark, undiscovered corners of myself.
I feel like we’ve been living in two separate worlds. It’s glorious when they intertwine. Its not about you changing to fit me, or me changing to fit you. Its us finding a place in the middle where we are together.
We all need to look at the dark side of our nature- People are afraid of that because it holds pieces of us we’re busy denying.
Peeks into my journal
In the game of relationships, it’s 2 vs. the world, not 1 vs. 1
And at the end of the day, it not me versus you or you versus me,
It’s us, together
Trying to piece together
2 sets of ideals
And 2 hearts.
Relationships are nothing but a numbers game where timing is everything, and 1 may screw it up for the 2